


Unlikely Friends

by mcal



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: A series of scenes of the wild and wacky friendship of Theo and Harry, Birthday fic nonsense, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-12-17 11:55:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21053996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcal/pseuds/mcal
Summary: Just a string of scenes over the years of this unlikely friendship that is Theodore Nott and Harry Potter.





	Unlikely Friends

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kyonomiko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kyonomiko/gifts).

> For my dear dear Kyonomiko.I hope you don't mind it's not Dramione. This came to me and I ran with it. They're a side pair and mentioned throughout, but I thought it'd be fun to venture into the mind of one of our favorite Slytherins. Happiest of Birthdays! You were one of my first fandom friends and it still makes me smile that we had the chance to meet up in person!! Thank you so much for continually listening to my crazy kiddo stories and sharing your words with me. They're gorgeous and I'm so thankful you're in my life <3  
THANK YOU AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! 
> 
> Some mild language in this. Alpha love to LadyKenz347 and Frumpologist and Beta gratitude to CourtingInsanity!!! <3 thank you ladies!! 
> 
> I own no part of the Harry Potter franchise. This was just for fun :)

* * *

Theo is bored. Salazar, Theo is so. Bloody. Bored. 

It’s not enough that he was hit by a stray, unknown spell in the midst of the Final Battle (he suspects his father’s involvement somehow, but the old knob is locked away for life with no chance of parole, so he keeps that suspicion to himself), but said stray spell has been tricky to heal. 

His bones keep spontaneously breaking or disappearing the first week after the battle. Once that curse wore off, some new and obscure rarity would manifest, and here Theo is, a solid month on bedrest, a shite ton of ‘“tests” later, and he’s still on buggering “observation” and bored out of his bloody mind. 

He’s already read through all the books healers or medi-witches brought from the hospital library—droning, self-indulging, and lacking in anything of substance, the lot of them. Disappointing, really. Professor Snape’s handwritten potion instructions and diagrams of stances and wand movements in Defence Against the Dark Arts were of much more use and value... And apparently his only formal training outside of Hogwarts had been at the hands of a bloodthirsty madman. 

Like Theo’s father. 

_ Like you _ , the menacing voice in his head taunts.  _ You’ll never rise above. Destined to madness, murder, and following into mehem— _

He groans out the silent void of his room, face falling to his hands. Merlin, he hates his life. He’s never had it as bad as Draco, but buggering shite, he loathes himself, his life, and—

_ Knock, knock, knock! _

“Come in.” Theo thinks his response sounds strained, but maybe he’s talked like this for so long, he can’t remember what it’s like to not hear echoes of fear and exhaustion in his voice. 

The door opens and a medi-witch crosses the threshold. It doesn’t go unnoticed that she lingers near the door, instead of waltzing in with a trayful of potions and vials, her empty hands clasped in front of her. “Mr. Nott, there’s a visitor to see you if you feel up to it.” 

_ Visitor _ ? He mentally runs through the list of possibilities: Draco’s trial resulted in his being trapped at the Manor under house arrest with Narcissa until the start of the school year, where he’ll be expected to attend and complete his final school year. Blaise is in Italy with his mother for the duration of the summer; he’s not even sure if his friend will be returning to Britain to retake their final school year. Blaise has a penchant for business, he wouldn’t need school to be a success in anything… Greg, Pansy, or Daphne? Merlin, let it be Daphne with her long blonde braids and full curves… 

“Ahem.” The medi-witch clears her throat, breaking through his long train of silent speculation. “Shall I tell him now is not a good time, then?” 

“No!” Theo bursts out, clamouring to swallow his disappointment at her use of ‘he’. Not Daphne, then. Oh well. “Please send him in.” He waves at the unused chair in the corner, but it is already levitating towards his bed. He looks back to the medi-witch, who smiles a funny and twisted sort of smile.

She lowers her wand, turning on her heel quickly. “You may enter, Mr. Potter.” 

_ POTTER?  _ Surely not. Surely The Chosen One himself wouldn’t come  _ here _ . 

The combination of messy dark hair over trademark sad and permanently broken-slash-fixed glasses frames that steps through the door with lanky limbs still being grown into suggests Theo is very much  _ wrong _ . 

“Hello,” his visitor says, his hand caught between some nervous looking gesture and a hesitant wave. 

“Hello...?” Theo can’t help the question in his voice. He supposes nothing should be able to surprise him anymore but this is just so… bizarre.

The medi-witch clears her throat, eyeing the two wizards warily. “Right, then. Summon me if you gentlemen would like some tea or biscuits. I’ll be right out here at the floor desk if you need anything.” And with that, she was out the door and Theo is trapped. 

Trapped in a room he isn’t allowed to leave with Harry-bloody-Potter. Said visitor opens his mouth to say something a few times, but each attempt fails. And every time his jaw snaps shut, he runs his hand through his hair, huffing and mumbling under his breath. 

“What are you doing here, Potter?” Theo asks, deciding that for a Gryffindor, Potter’s bravery is clearly subject to his circumstances. 

“Right, yeah.” Potter’s head bobs as he makes his way to the chair. “I’m visiting classmates who are injured still. Saying hello, hope you’re doing better soon, can I get you anything…?” He’s babbling and it’s worse than when Draco is on a brooding, bemoaning roll; it’s all Theo can do to not scoff at the similarities between the two wizards. Potter suddenly proffers his hand, or more accurately,  _ shoves _ it into Theo’s personal space. “And I suppose in this case, I’m properly introducing myself. I’m Harry Potter. Harry James Potter, but most people just call me ‘Harry’.” 

“I know.” Theo takes the hand, undecided if he’s confused, irritated, or amused. “You see, we’ve been at the same boarding school together, in the same year, and in several of the same classes together since were eleven.” 

They drop hands and Theo assesses that Potter looks ready to bolt… Perhaps he should bite… “Learning trivial things such as people’s names is something that generally happens when people are in each other’s acquaintance for so long.” He lifts his chin in an aristocratic turn that would make Lucius Malfoy himself proud and continues: “Were you aware of my name before you were informed I was still here—which feels an extreme invasion of my privacy, by the way. Should I be composing a letter to the hospital expressing my outrage, perhaps suggesting that all current donations from the Nott family vaults would be better spent on more worthy causes—?”

“ _ No!” _ Potter looks terrified now, raking both hands through his hair. “Merlin, please don’t do that! I didn’t think… Bollocks. I didn’t mean to… Fuck, I’m sorry.” He meets Theo’s eyes, looking as sincere as he had a month ago, when talking to The Dark Fucker of remorse, the Elder Wand, rainbows and other such poppycock. “Look, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all this. I never wanted anyone to get hurt in all this. I’m sorry and just… I don’t know, let me know if there’s anything I can do to help, all right, Nott?” 

“It’s Theo.” He waits until his visitor is halfway to the door, letting the worry sink in, or at least hoping it’s sinking in, because sometimes it’s too fun to mess with people… And he’s been so bloody  _ bored _ …

“What?” 

Potter turns and Theo shrugs. 

“Nott is what Lucius called Father when he was mad at the old sod. ‘Theodore’ is the name that Draco and Blaise know never to call me, because it’s what my father always called me, and I’m ninety-seven-and-a-half percent certain my father killed my mother, so fuck him. I’m simply ‘Theo’. And it’s awfully rude if you think you’re going to slip away now just before the fun begins.” 

He waves his hand over the chair, indicating for his guest to have a seat. Potter officially looks more confused than he’s ever seen him, and Theo’s wondering what good he could ever possibly have done to have such fun handed to him on the proverbial silver dish… 

* * *

“You’re off your bloody rocker, Theo.” 

  
The Nott heir scoffs and sips his tea. “It’s as true as a niffler being drawn to shiny things: Draco’s had it bad for Granger since we were first years.” He returns the teacup to its saucer. “He was just a prat about it until she slapped some manners and fire into him the end of third year, and all bets were off after the Yule ball fourth year.” 

Harry shakes his head. “That can’t be possible, because he spent all of fifth year sneering and glaring at her… At  _ all _ of us! There was the thing with the Inquisitor Squad and all that, you’ll remember…” 

“Of course he was staring at her all the time. He was trying to be the brooding, protective, handsome prince who eventually wins fair maiden.” Theo sniffs and reaches for a finger sandwich. “Do you know nothing of fairy tales?” 

“Life isn’t a fucking fairy tale,” Harry counters, snatching at a chocolate biscuit, “or have you been locked up in some dark tower for the past seven years yourself, mate?” 

Theo looses a dark chuckle, happy to have someone to argue with again. Merlin, he’d have settled for the one time two weeks back when Harry first visited as a nice enough change of pace, but The-Boy-Who-Lived-Then-Died-And-Lived-Again came the day after. And the day after that. And then the day after that until a pattern had been established, and an agreed upon visiting hour was set by the end of each visit. 

It’s been… nice, for lack of a better way of putting it. Harry’s not his usual friends, but he’s smart and dry in his own way, and he knows Quidditch. And he has enough of a sense of humour to laugh at himself, with a touch of enough darkness to chortle at the cruel irony of their lives. 

“Slytherin’s in the dungeons, Harry, unless that slipped your mind.” 

The wizard snorted. “Tall dark tower, deep dark bowels of a castle…” He flashes a smirk. “I see no difference, really.” 

“Twat,” Theo retorts. “But getting back on topic, Draco’s got to go back to school next year, it’s a term of his probation period. I think it’s safe to presume that Granger will be going back for her seventh year, correct?” 

“Highly likely.” Harry gives a noncommittal shrug. “There are outside contributing factors that may affect her answer, but last we wrote, she’s still wanting to finish school.” 

“Perfect!” Theo crows. “You just get us introduced all proper like sometime before the school year begins, and I’ll just keep finding ways of forcing them together; they’ll have no choice but to fall in love to keep me from irritating them to death.” 

Warmth touches and fills every last corner, covers every single surface of the room, as Harry throws back his head and laughs. Theo doesn’t consider his comment especially humorous, but perhaps he really is as clever as he’s always assumed. Perhaps it’s simply Draco, Blaise, Daph, Pansy, Greg, and all his other fellow snakes who’ve never had a sense of humour. Or perhaps it’s been so long since he’s done something as normal as laughing with a friend over something trivial that he’s forgotten how medicinal laughter truly is. 

Like chocolate after being in the presence of Dementors… Not that Theo was about to admit how pleasant it was to marvel at something as childish and innocent as laughter again. “I don’t see what’s especially funny, especially considering I was completely serious.” He takes his time sipping at his tea, pause for dramatic effect and all that. “The key is to give them a common enemy. Given enough time and motivation, they’ll have no choice but to unite against said common enemy; it’s really the most logical course of action, and I’ve always suspected there’s a part of both Draco and Granger that wishes they’d just been sorted into Ravenclaw at the end of the day.” 

“You might just be right, and Merlin help you all if you succeed.” Harry takes a long sip from his tea as well, making a face at Theo when he sets his cup down, only to take up the teapot and pour himself a third cuppa. “Although, imagining all the potential fun and games which will undoubtedly unfold with this  _ almost _ makes me reconsider and suffer through two more terms of school just to see you wear them down.” 

“Not too late,” Theo hums, following his companion’s initiative and refilling his cup, too. “It’s not even July, and I’m sure McGonagall would be thrilled to make every accommodation Hogwarts has to offer for the pride and jewel of Gryffindor.” He gives a dark chuckle, but it’s meant to be ironic; his new friend literally has the entirety of wizarding Britain in the palm of his hand, and Theo’s curious to see how much of that Harry realises.

Harry just shakes his head. “It is for me. I can’t really explain it, but after everything over the last seven years, I just can’t go back.” Something deep and far-off spills into his expression, a look Theo’s seen all too often in Draco’s eyes. “Too many Death Eaters got away in the aftermath of the battle, and I can’t go back and pretend I’m the same lost kid without a home or family, and there’s a bright future out there for me, full of endless possibilities.

“I was marked in more ways than one the night Voldemort gave me this.” Harry lifts his hair revealing his lightning bolt scar. “This fight and drive to take a stand has been drummed and drilled into me now, whether by repetition of all that’s happened or because it’s always been there.” He lets his hair fall back over the scar as his hands find each other in a tight grip on the edge of the table between them. “And who knows, maybe I’ll go through some sort of midlife crisis of self and have the need to change my career and bury the past then, but I’ll deal with that then, and stick to doing what I know to be right for now.” 

“Or Weaslette,” Theo offers, a teasing lopsided grin climbing his lips. “Or would she be Mrs. Potter then, hmm? And perhaps there’ll be a collection of young Potter-Weasley hybrids larking about the countryside, looking for all sorts of mischief to fall into…” 

“I… I dunno about that.” Harry rubs the back of his neck, taking another sip of his tea. 

“Oh? Trouble in paradise, mate?” What a deliciously informative afternoon this has turned out to be…! 

Harry’s lips purse together, then twist, then open, then close, then open again. “I think we’ve missed it. I mean, I wanted her for a year, and then I finally got her for such a short time, and then had to give her up. And when it was all over, I thought I’d have time to talk with her, to sort things out with her… But then I was gone and she’s been mourning and she’s changed so much this last year; hell,  _ I’ve _ changed so much this year. When we’ve tried talk or move beyond, it always feels like forcing broken pieces to fit again, while knowing they never really will.” 

“Blimey.” Theo isn’t quite sure how to respond to that. “I’m not sure where to start to unpack all that…” 

“How ‘bout don’t even start?” Harry rolls his eyes, snatching up two more biscuits. “You’re stuck in here for another two weeks, so there’s nothing that you could meddle with now. And come the first of September, Ginny’s back to school, and I’ll already be in Auror training.” 

_ True _ , Theo thinks,  _ but still _ … “Can I just ask where you went?” Harry’s brows raise in a question and Theo stifles the familiar urge to scoff again at this wizard’s simpleton mind. “You said you were gone. It’s only been now, a month after the war, that you came to visit me. You said that first day it was your first day of making visiting rounds. And so I ask again, where were you?” 

“Oh. Australia.” Harry chomps on a biscuit. “Perth, Australia, to be precise. But the rest of it isn’t my story to tell, so don’t bother with any follow-up nosy-shite questions.” 

Theo snorts and drains the last of his tea, turning their conversation to superior topics like Quidditch.

* * *

“Missing me already, Harry? After only a week?” Theo slaps a hand to his cheek for dramatic effect. “I’m touched. Chuffed and flattered even, but hardly surprised.” 

“Naff off, twat. Not everything is about you.” Harry rolls his eyes and resumes his scan about the throng of students, parents, trunks, owls, cages, tears, and apprehensive laughter before adding: “In fact, until two months ago, you were little more than a name assigned to a face.”

Theo’s jaw drops in faux outrage. “You wound me, sir, and just when I thought we were well on our way to becoming friends.” Harry still isn’t paying attention, and it’s eerie how much the Golden former-Gryffindor is so like Draco in his ability to tune out everything deemed unimportant or irrelevant. He heaves a great sigh. “Ignore me then, but I will be demanding recompense on your soul come Christmas hols. Or my birthday. Whichever you feel the more important between the two.” 

Harry groans, and Theo is now exceedingly happy, all his distracting worries of returning to school now dissipating. He thinks it may be fun to see what else he can tease his new friend about, but Harry’s gaze is narrowed as he studies the hustle and bustle of the  _ Hogwarts Express  _ platform. 

Perhaps teasing should wait. For now… 

“You’re on duty.” It’s not a question, and Theo doesn’t say anything else until Harry looks back and meets his eye. He slips his hand in his pocket, grip tightening around his acacia wood wand. “Did the Auror’s office hear anything?” 

“No,” Harry admits with a slight shake of his head. “But Yaxley, Dolohov, and a few other key of the inner circle have yet to be caught, and I’m here with Robards, Jones, and Tibbs for security detail that McGonagall requested.”

“I see.” Theo’s about to add something else, but Weaslette looks their way, making eye contact with Harry, expression darkening, then dropping completely into complacency, and finally dipping into a sad sort of smile. Harry’s jaw tightens and he gives a curt nod before resuming his crowd scanning. Theo believes now is the best time to intervene. “What would you say to joining us in Hogsmeade for a weekend or two?” 

“Huh?” 

Theo could just shake his head at himself. It’s painfully clear he’ll never have the undivided attention of any of his friends.  _ Ever.  _ Harry’s obviously lost to whatever train of thought his mind has given itself over to, whether it be the recent parting of ways with Weaslette, the assignment that seems suspiciously above the expectations of an Auror-trainee, a combination of the two… or neither. Draco’s already brooding away in a carriage somewhere, Blaise is still in Italy, Pansy isn’t coming back either and Greg—

“Hello, Theo.” 

He blinks back into focus, looking down, meeting warm hazel eyes. “Astoria. Hello.” He’s never considered himself especially close to Daphne’s younger sister, but he smiles nonetheless. “All set for the new school year?” 

“I suppose so now.” She gives a wry smile. “Several of us fifth years petitioned the Ministry to be allowed to sit for our O.W.L.’s over the summer. It would have been helpful if Daph had stuck around to help me prepare, but I guess the draw to Italy was much more appealing.”

“Italy? Was she…” 

The younger Greengrass sister nods, confusion then awkward shame crossing her features. “Sorry. I guess I thought she’d told you about that before…” She bites her lip, looking all the more embarrassed now. “I… Sorry, Theo. I asked her if she’d settled everything with you before leaving.” 

“There was nothing to sort out.” Theo dismisses her apology with a crooked smile, talking to himself more than her. “A few memorable moments while on patrol last year, but I’m glad she’s happy and well, and I’m being terribly uncouth—have you been properly introduced to Harry Potter, Astoria?” 

Her face reddens completely as the full attention of Harry-Saviour-Of-Wizarding-Britain-Potter turns to her; Harry’s eyes now wide and his lips parted, even as he remains utterly silent. Astoria tucks a strand of hair behind her eat. “Not officially,” she answers in a soft voice that Theo finds utterly fascinating. 

Harry’s brows shoot into his hairline. “We’ve met before?” 

“Mhm,” she hums, cheeks dimpling, fingers threading together over her skirt. “It was the year we had Umbridge, and I’d eaten a puking pastille while it was still in the testing phases by mistake, and—”

“The girl crying in the dungeons!” Harry interrupts like the tactless buffoon Theo assesses him to be. Harry goes on: “Merlin, that was you?” 

Astoria nods, face impossibly redder now. “Professor Snape thought I’d taken it on purpose to get out of an exam and wouldn’t let me retake it, you conjured a handkerchief for me, and—”

“And I reckoned you should try talking to Professor McGonagall to see if she would talk to him,” Harry cuts in again, but Astoria doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, her blush seems to have dimmed in the wake of a beaming smile now threatening to break her face. Harry steps closer to the younger Greengrass, seemingly transfixed by this underwhelming and anticlimactic story. “Whatever happened after that? Did you talk to her?” 

“I did.” Astoria’s voice is honeyed silk, or silken honey. Theo can’t decide, but he’s suddenly highly uncomfortable. “And she did, and he allowed me to take the exam the next day.” 

Harry’s eyes bore into Astorias, his throat bobs. “How’d you do?” 

“Full marks.” She’s tilting her face up to him now. “I tried to find a way to get the handkerchief back to you, but you were pretty hard to track down… When you weren’t with Hermione Granger, that is, and she frankly scared anyone third year or younger.” 

The smitten duo exchanges nervous, yet sensual, giggles, and Theo joins in for the sole purpose of making sure they’re reminded they’re very much  _ not alone _ , but rather on a public and crowded platform. They look to him, as if surprised to find him still there...

“Lovely story of first meetings, then.” Theo loudly clears his throat, if only for something to do to douse the iridescent flames bursting between the two previous not-really-strangers-and-new-platform-lovers. “And for this second meeting, Harry, meet Astoria Greengrass. Astoria, I present to you Harry Potter.” He looks between them, smiling and proud to see them each looking properly sheepish now. “If you find you’d like some help with your trunk, Astoria, I’m sure  _ Auror _ Potter here would be delighted to be of assistance. And if the two will excuse me, I’ve an appointment with a brooding Malfoy, and plot to have him courting one Hermione Granger to get on with.” 

He breezes by the witch and wizard with an exaggerated flourish, turning his thoughts from the newly founded couple to precisely  _ how _ he’s going to get Draco and Granger in the same compartment on the train, considering he may need a buffer. 

His eyes settle on a girl with a long blonde braid and a delicate, almost whimsical, smile under bursting blue eyes, and a plot begins to unfold. 

* * *

Christmas has come and gone and it’s now Theo’s birthday in the bitter cold of January, and Theo has come to the conclusion that eighth year is  _ perfection.  _

Once he was able to rid himself of the love-struck duo that was Harry Potter and Astoria Greengrass, he attached himself to none other than Luna Lovegood, the pride and joy of the House of Ravenclaw, in hopes that she would be able to assist him in his diabolic plot to have Granger and Draco trapped in the same carriage as him the long ride to Hogwarts. 

His plot had worked, as he expected it  _ would _ , but as an unexpected bonus of the day, Luna decided her aura turned just the perfect shade of fuschia when around him, and pronounced his gaudish purple mellowed to a more “regal hue of purple” when he was with her, and declared they should stay close to each other for the entirety of the school year to see “how well they suited each other.” 

It turns out Luna Lovegood suited Theodore Nott just fine. And Theodore Nott seemed to be the only thing to make Luna Lovegood smile that deliciously dazzling smile that spoke of shared secrets, late night mystical creature hunts, and… Well… More than Theo had anticipated for the year. 

He is now a man in love. A wizard in his prime and of age, and he already knows just the ring from his family vault he wants to give to Luna come this fall. They’ll get married under the harvest moon the year of her choosing, of course, because he’d elope tonight if she wanted, but there’s her father to consider and— 

“Hello…” he murmurs to himself while Luna is signing her name to parchments and getting their room key for the night. “What in the name of Merlin do we have here?” It’s not a ridiculous question at all, as the scene he’s come across is none other than Harry Potter, ensconced in a corner booth of the Doe and Stag in Hogsmeade, throwing back a shot of bourbon, wincing and looking very ill, but reaching for the bottle again to refill his tumbler. 

An investigation is clearly in order. 

And deciding there’s no need for subtlety given how  _ not _ full that bottle is, Theo announces his presence with all the evil pride of a cornish pixie: “If you’re part of Luna’s birthday surprise—” 

“Buggering  _ shite _ !” Harry exclaims, jumping from his seat, knocking the bottle over…

Which Theo catches, flashing his friend the feralest of smirks he’s ever managed. “Careful, Harry. ‘Waste not, want not’ is what Narcissa always taught me.” 

Harry groans and pinches the bridge of his nose. “WhatdoyouwantNott?” His words are pitifully slurred, which tells Theo that Wonderboy Potter is likely to spill anything at this point in the evening, and if it weren’t for the fact that Theo has plans for Luna and a navy lacy thing she’s hinted at, Theo would love nothing more than to hunker down and poke and prod at Harry all night long. 

As it is though, he casts a hasty glance over his shoulder to see Luna waving at him, before leaning down to sign something. The clock is ticking. Time to work the magic of infuriation. “Look, as much as I’m sure you’d love to be part of whatever Luna’s got planned for tonight, and while I  _ know  _ I’m quite the catch, I’m frankly not interested and would rather y—”

“ _ Not why I’m here, Nott! _ ” Harry’s hissing while Theo silently congratulates himself. The role of irritating twat never fails to produce results. 

“Oh?” Theo’s voice is placating and for a moment he’s concerned something’s truly wrong. “Has something happened? Is everything all right, then? Astoria’s okay?” Harry shakes his head while choking out an affirmative, and Theo is forced to take action by huffing and seating himself across the booth. “Colour me confused now, Harry; is it ‘no’ or ‘yes’? Has some disaster befallen anyone we know?” 

Harry shakes his head again, groaning and sighing. “No life and death emergency. But… ” He rakes a hand through his hair, downs his tumbler and helps himself to another two fingers. “So, it started with Madam Pince hearing something about a room in the library she assumed no one knew about.” 

Theo smirks. This is going to be  _ good _ . “And her reasoning behind summoning an Auror for a simple headmistress, other professors, or prefects would be…?” 

“She didn’t want to wake Professor McGonagall with it, all the prefects were supposed to have completed their rounds, but she presumed it could be serious enough for backup.” 

The sweet build is delicious… “So, she really Floo’d the Auror's Office at the Ministry over noises in a supposedly unknown room?”

“Guess she didn’t want to take any chances and all that…” Harry sighed. “For what it’s worth, I can’t really blame her for being overly cautious after everything.” 

Theo permits a silent, almost solemn, beat to pass. Then: “So… who’d you catch?” 

“‘Mione and Malfoy.” Harry shudders and he drains his tumbler again, as if it possessed the power to burn the memory from his eyes. All it does is make Theo laugh so hard he barely notices when the delicate arm of his witch slips around his waist and soft curves meld into his side. 

Luna speaks, voice ethereal and dreamy. “Is there a joke I missed hearing fetching our key, love?” She tilts her head, brushing her lips to over Theo’s cheek before addressing Harry with a sweet, but-to-the-point salutation. (And call Theo a selfish fool, but it makes him ready to burst that his witch greets him first and  _ not _ the saviour of the wizarding world.) 

“Hello, Luna. No joke, I’m afraid” Harry says, grimacing. “Just a nightmare I never wanted to get caught up in.” 

“Nightmares are perfectly normal after all you’ve been through, Harry, but perhaps Wrackspurts have ingested your head again.”

Theo dips his head instantly to pillow Luna’s luscious lips with a kiss; he loves this witch and he would never deserve her even if he lived a hundred lifetimes. It’s agony to pull away, but he does, still gazing into Luna’s full eyes as he says, “Madam Pince thought she heard intruders and called the Aurors... Only for Harry here to walk in on Draco and Hermione acting out some lifelong fantasy of shagging in the library.” 

Harry groans in the background while Theo gives a husky chuckle, tipping to capture Luna’s lips again, but his witch pulls way. 

“But that’s old news now,” she says, the unmistakable lilt of confusion in her tone. She looks to Harry now. “Hermione said she told you over Christmas that she and Draco were making it official. It’s only natural they want to consummate their growing mutual affection for each other. And the library is even more fitting given their common zen for books and knowledge.”

“Luuuuu-naaahhhhh,” Harry whines, flinging a hand over his face. “This is nothing at all with whom Hermione is dating, I worked that out with myself over the holidays, and everything to do with things that can’t be unseen… Things that can’t be unheard…” 

“Oh.” Luna hums and slips her fingers in the gaps between Theo’s squeezing and pulling. “I recommend ordering yourself a stiff pot of tea, Harry. Maybe check yourself into a room here, though, I don’t recommend being in the room near ours tonight or tomorrow.” Her smile is innocently sultry, full of promises. “We checked out of Hogwarts for the entire weekend and I’m making full use of the time away to properly wish Theo a happy birthday.” 

Harry’s groans echo across the entire establishment, but Theo doesn’t pay him any mind. It’s his birthday, after all, and everything fades as Luna leads the way to their room for the weekend. 

* * *

_ 19 April, 1999 _

_ Harry,  _

_ Your witch is looking blue. Luna’s learned old Sluggy has had the sixth years working on Amortentia. The next sanctioned sixth year outing to Hogsmeade is in two weeks. I suggest you plan your work schedule accordingly to meet us there. Perhaps nothing as gaudy as Madam Puddifoots, but perhaps a private picnic or something of the sort.  _

_ By the way, Blaise has been able to acquire tickets for the Ireland vs. Italy Quidditch World Cup match in Milan this summer. I’ve told him to already reserve a ticket for you with myself and Luna. Draco and Hermione will be attending as well, and Astoria is already a ‘yes’ because of Daphne. Shall I make inquiries for Weasley and a plus one for him? Timing is of the utmost importance, so try not to delay in your response this time.  _

_ Theo _

_ P.S. Any possible way you could communicate to Granger I’m  _ _ your _ _ friend, not necessarily hers, and therefore, she’s not in charge of my N.E.W.T. study schedule.  _

* * *

_ 21 April, 1999 _

_ Theo,  _

_ I’ve already made arrangements with McGonagall to surprise Astoria with a picnic by the Black Lake soon. Her letters have been off, and she looked down with her last Floo call. And, no, I’m  _ _ not _ _ telling you when this is taking place. The last time you tried to “help” Astoria’s teeth turned blue and my tongue went numb. That’s not happening this time.  _

_ Tori’s already reserved my ticket with Blaise. Ron’s taking George and Ginny to America over the summer, and then they’re going to spend some time with Charlie at the dragon reserve in Romania. And before you ask, I’ll be going to Milan with Tori early to meet her parents.  _

_ … _

_ Perhaps you wouldn’t mind helping me with shopping for some new outfits…? Good impressions and all that. Hermione says my wardrobe can use a proper updating. _

_ Also, regarding Hermione and studying, you’re on your own, mate. Especially now that she’s got Malfoy wrapped around her finger.  _

_ Harry _

* * *

“Any possible way things could speed up?” 

Theo’s eyes narrow at the exasperation in Harry’s voice from the other side of the magically locked door; it makes no difference whatsoever his friend can’t see the narrowing of his eyes. “I’ve requested assistance, but the staff here is literally dealing with tens of thousands of Quidditch fans. Can’t expect much they’ll be as fast as ”

A heavy sigh. “Fine. Whatever.” A thud against the door. “‘Suppose I expected more rapid assistance since we’re in a specialty box and all.” 

“You’re the clod who got yourself locked in that private bathroom, Harry. I’m sure they’re all taking their sweet time because they’re having a good laugh at your expense.” 

Harry swears loudly and Theo gives into the bubbling laughter he can’t hold back anymore. “I covered for you with the rest of the box, everyone thinks you’re caught up with a food order, and by the way, you’ve ordered everyone snacks and refreshed everyone’s drinks, but that’s of little consequence at this point....” 

“It’s fine, Theo.” A heavy sigh. “It’s all right. Suppose it serves me right for hiding in here a bit.” 

Theo allows the humour of the situation to dissipate instantly. “Shoulda known there was a subconscious reason for vanishing.” He makes himself comfortable on the floor, regardless of the potential for wrinkles in his shirt, propping himself against the locked door. “Out with it then. Weasley isn’t here, you’re locked in a room, I’m supposedly helping you wait for food that’s due to be delivered in another ten minutes, so unburden yourself. Speak your truths that your mind may find peace.” 

“Merlin, does Luna tell you things like that?” 

“Oy!” No one teases Luna but him, and even then… Only when she can list all of the confusing ways she’s actually right and everything can go over his head in the most delightful way and they can conclude the conversation in a perfect snog… “She’s in Ravenclaw for a reason, mate. I may not understand a fourth of what she says still, but this is really just a fact of life: there’s no point in bottling stuff up that can make you go mad. You saw Draco sixth year, right?” 

Harry snorts. “I’d say there were extenuating circumstances there make his situation completely different. Night and day actually.” 

“But not really, if you think about it.” Theo’s had a great deal of time to consider this, and he’s ready to share his thoughts on the matter. “His godfather tried over and over to involve himself, to help Draco.  _ I _ tried. You’ve no idea how much I tried to help. How much we all tried. He was so splintered and conflicted over everything by the end of the year, he nearly died in the aftermath of his punishment from the Dark Psycho—”

“What’s your point, mate?” Harry was far from joking now, if the edge in his voice is anything for Theo to go by. 

“My point is there’s obviously something on your mind. Freak accident or not, you left the game to find a quiet place to think for a reason, but now you’ll have no peace even after you’re free from this stall, because I’ll pester it out of you eventually.” 

A sigh that has the air of surrender about it, and Theo… He doesn’t grin… but he can’t deny the light feeling in his chest. “Astoria’s dad likes me. Really likes me, mate. Daphne’s great, and hell, even Zabini’s been loads of fun so far.”

“What’s the trouble, then?” Theo prods after an indecisive pause. 

“She’s still in school.” There’s a thud against the door and Theo guesses Harry’s flung himself against the bathroom door as well. “I reckon it shouldn’t make a difference that she’s just now seventeen and still has her whole seventh year left. But I think her dad’s trying to size me up as a possible son-in-law, but what if Tori starts to fancy someone else over this year? Someone she’s studying with all the time and she wants to break up and there’ll be this awkwardness for a while?” 

Theo rolls his eyes, seeing right through Harry’s argument. “But what if none of that happens and you both make it work another year? Same as you did this year?” 

“I can’t ask her to tie herself down before she’s had the chance to travel and live and such, right?” The agony is now palpable. “I mean, she and her sister have talked about a clothing line for forever, and I know Milan, Paris, or Madrid would be best for her, but where would that leave us? How long would it be long distance? And would she ever want kids? Hell, do I even want kids? How in Godric’s name would that work with living in two countries, a—”

“Merlin’s purple robes!” Theo cries, interrupting the downward spiral that is Harry Bloody Potter. “Have you always been this impossibly thick or was there really so little communication between you and the Weaslette that you’ve no idea how any of this works?”

Silence. Unbearably awkward silence that has Theo kicking himself. 

“Right then.” Theo clears his throat taking everything as his cue to attempt for a softer approach. “You’re going to have a proper conversation with your witch—and hear me when I say I’m not meaning immediately. Just sometime before the summer is over and she goes back to school. Because if she’s anything like Granger or Luna, she’ll want to have this conversation to assess and evaluate around that time anyways. But I think you should relax a bit, mate. It’s a good thing people like you, and old Greengrass is supportive in this. He’s doted on his girls from the very beginning, and they’ve all shared a pretty healthy relationship, unlike most other Pureblood examples you’ve had.” 

“But—”

“Ah, ah, ah. ” Theo waggles his finger, even though Harry can’t see it. “No interruptions, please. Now then: continuing with your list of worries. Breakups are the pits, they really are. Draco and Pansy were nasty business in sixth year. Daphne leaving the country without saying anything hurt more than I let on and we weren’t even dating. Weaslette hurt you, too. But you’ll get through it if it happens. If not, though, and this continues and you love her, there are such things as international portkeys for making living and working in different countries work… But this is all speculative hypogriff shite until you have a proper talk with her. Several actually.” 

Harry makes a strangled sound. “ _ Several? _ ” 

Theo nods, rising from the floor. “Several. Because that’s how adult things work. Constant communication and all that. Which is why I’m happy for this time because I’ve been meaning to tell you that Luna went ahead and proposed to me just before coming here, so once everything’s all official and the like, I’d like you to be one of my groomsmen.” 

“Luna… proposed…” Theo can just see the metaphorical cogs turning in his friend’s head. “On purpose? To  _ you _ ?” 

“Of course on purpose.” Theo sniffs, smoothing the wrinkles of his muggle denims and Ireland shirt. “We were discussing nifflers in their endless pursuit of what they deem valuable, and she asked, I said yes— _ come in! _ ” He waves in a team of wizards at least arrived to help with whatever was wrong with the door in the first place. “I’ll make it romantic and proper with a ring come summer’s end, because I know she likes the month of September best…”

He folds his arms across his chest as the staff open the door and share looks that say they think Harry and Theo are idiots and Harry emerges, looking disheveled and sheepish. Theo proffers his hand. “I’m sure you’ll understand that it’s nothing personal, but Draco would have a fit if I didn’t reserve the honour of best man for him, so if you and Blaise can just keep this getting along thing up, I’d be most grateful.” 

Harry shakes his hand, grinning, and glancing at the main door. “Whatever you say, Theo.” 

* * *

“It’s outrageous!” 

“Shush, love.” 

“I will  _ not, _ ” Theo says loudly, look around, meeting the eye of no one in particular. “Narcissa  _ knows _ how much I love Mipsy’s chocolate mousse, and not a single tray of that culinary masterpiece  _ in sight _ !” 

Luna hums a placating hum while sliding her fingers through his hair. “But this isn’t _our_ party, it’s Draco and Hermione’s engagement party. Hermione prefers fruit tart, and Draco likes the lemon posset.”

“Lies!” Theo hisses, brows furrowing… And not necessarily at his wife. But it’s been a rough past few months for a myriad of reasons, several of which involved a needy Draco, who needed reassurance and encouragement with all the planning and preparations that went into proposing to Hermione Granger. 

And  _ then _ , there is the matter of—

“ _ THEO!”  _

The addressee groans audibly, face falling into his hands as his wife giggles her ethereal giggle and plays with his hair. “Not too much longer, Theo,” she murmurs into his ear. 

He mumbles something indistinct into his hands before jerking upright, trying to appear as normal as conceivably possible before a newly promoted trainer Auror Potter descends upon their table. 

“Harry. Astoria.” Theo nods, waving to empty seats. “Thought you’d have snuck off to find some privacy in the solarium by now.” Harry blushes, but Theo’s only half joking. Since Astoria’s completion of Hogwarts, Harry’s been all but unavailable between work and his witch. And when the besotted fool  _ is  _ available, he bears the face of a man who clearly has his mind on other things and not at all attentive to subtle  _ things _ Theo has been confiding to Harry about lately… 

In other words, Harry Potter has been a shite-friend, and this engagement party is a disaster because Theo’s been looking forward to this chocolate mousse for  _ ages _ , and—

“Luna, you’re out of champagne” Astoria sounds most offended and narrows her eyes at Theo. “Fetch your wife a fresh glass and we’ll toast the happy couple.” 

“She can’t drink.” 

“I’m not drinking now.” 

Husband and wife answer at the same time, Theo’s sentence completing first, leaving a confused Harry and Astoria in their wake… Until Astoria’s eyes widen and she grabs Harry’s arm, gasping and making a very high pitched girlish sound. 

“Oh, Luna!” She throws her arms around Mrs. Luna Nott, while Harry claps Theo on the back, very hard, Theo adds to himself. Much harder than necessary. “This is wonderful! How far along are you?”

“Just coming to the end of my first trimester.” Astoria withdraws, only to nestle herself into Harry’s side. Both women are beaming, and Luna’s eyes sparkle of blue, grey and green as she looks up at Theo. “We decided we’d wait until after the engagement party before we started telling people.” 

“Didn’t want Draco to feel upstaged or anything,” Theo adds, wrapping an arm around his wife. 

Harry’s face crinkles as a feral smile climbs his cheeks. “You mean… Malfoy doesn’t know?” 

“Nope.” 

“Best man at your wedding and brother in every way but blood has no idea that you two are expecting, and that he may become a godfather soon enough?” 

Theo shakes his head while Luna verbally affirms Harry’s inquiry. 

Which is apparently all Harry needs to dash away, sprinting to the front of the garden, yelling Draco’s name. 

Theo takes off after the wizard, running and playing the part of the friend properly wronged, but really, he’s not upset. He’s been wanting to blurt everything out for weeks now. He had hoped Harry would put the subtly-not-so-subtle hints together, but that hadn’t happened. If asked why he wants Harry to know first of all his friends, Theo will answer that Potter is the one who invaded his life at the hospital, saving him from months of extended tedious and mindlessness existence, and since it’s in part because of Harry that Theo introduced himself to Luna in the first place, it’s only fitting that Harry have this. 

That’s what friends are for.

The spat and chase is dropped entirely, though, when Narcissa produces a special tray of chocolate mousse she’d asked Mipsy to prepare specifically for Theo and Luna to take home after the party. It seems his Malfoy mum has been suspicious for weeks, ever since Luna had asked Narcissa for a blend of tea leaves to combat nausea. 

Theo thanks Mipsy, kisses Narcissa’s cheeks, his wife’s lips, gives the rest of the party a two-fingered salute as he and Luna make their way to the library fireplace. Part of him thinks it’d be nice to stay and see Granger attempt to chastise Harry only for Astoria to come to Harry’s defense… but there’s the matter of Luna’s perfect eyes darting back and forth between the chocolate mousse and him, and Theo decides he’s much more interested in seeing how  _ this _ situation could play out. 

It ends up being perfect, and Theo concludes all is perfectly well with the world. 


End file.
